Manitoulin
Island-Radio.Net
[Of All Ages!!!]
Page 3
Page 3
Where is that Darn-Thing
... ?!!
The
clerk asked me, "Cash, check or charge?" after ringing up my
purchase.
As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a TV remote control in my purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" she asked, with a grin.
"No," I replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
figured this was the meanest thing I could do to him!"
As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a TV remote control in my purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" she asked, with a grin.
"No," I replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
figured this was the meanest thing I could do to him!"
Ah, people often begrudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. ~ Aesop
Old Ice House ~
Lake Manitou, Manitoulin Island
© 2002-06 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
© 2002-06 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
Truth or Consequences!?
The mother and father had just given their teenage
daughter family-car privileges.
On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came
back into the house frowning.
At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her,
"Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the
paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car!?!"
On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came
back into the house frowning.
At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her,
"Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the
paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car!?!"
Opportunity Is Where You Find It!
~ Manitoulin Island
© 2002-06 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
© 2002-06 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
Hmmmm?!!
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around
with a Fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies," he matter-of-factly responded.
"Oh!, Killed any yet?" she asked expectantly.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied with pride.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell anyway?"
He promptly responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone!"
with a Fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies," he matter-of-factly responded.
"Oh!, Killed any yet?" she asked expectantly.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied with pride.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell anyway?"
He promptly responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone!"
Ah, Strawberries and ... ?!
A farmer was driving along the road with a
load of Manure. A little boy,
playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in
your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Putting it on Strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised proudly. "We put Sugar
and Cream on ours!"
playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in
your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Putting it on Strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised proudly. "We put Sugar
and Cream on ours!"
Lily Pads ~ Under Moving
Water, Manitoulin
Island
© 2002-06 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
© 2002-06 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
Right Medicine ... But!?
A
local pharmacist was used to answering all sorts of questions. When
a customer came in asking for a cure for hiccups, the pharmacist thought a
good scare might do the trick. So he quickly reached across the counter and
gave the customer a hearty slap on the back. Apparently, he slapped harder
than he intended as the customer lost his breath for a minute.
"Did that cure the hiccups?" asked the pharmacist after the customer
recovered.
"I don't know," the man answered. "I'll have to check with my wife, who's
waiting in the car. She's the one with the problem!"
Sheguiandah ~ Early Spring , Manitoulin Island
© 2007 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
Recognize Anyone .. ??
Experience ~
The term people use for their mistakes.
Philosopher ~ A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken well of when
dead.
Diplomat ~ A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
Politician ~ A person who promises to do great things with your money.
Opportunist ~ A person who starts taking a bath if s/he accidentally falls into a
river.
Optimist ~ A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midfall, "See?
I'm not injured yet."
Pessimist ~ A person who says that O is the last letter in zerO, instead of the
first letter in word Opportunity.
Philosopher ~ A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken well of when
dead.
Diplomat ~ A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
Politician ~ A person who promises to do great things with your money.
Opportunist ~ A person who starts taking a bath if s/he accidentally falls into a
river.
Optimist ~ A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midfall, "See?
I'm not injured yet."
Pessimist ~ A person who says that O is the last letter in zerO, instead of the
first letter in word Opportunity.
Tractor 2 ~ Detail , Manitoulin
Island
© 2007 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
© 2007 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
The Procrastinator's Creed
I believe that if anything is worth doing,
it would have been done already.
I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily
injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies,
astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of
time given.
I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small,
is not exactly zero.
If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word,
when I get around to it.
I obey the law of inverse excuses, which demands that the greater the task to be done,
the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater
task.
I know that the work-cycle is not plan-start-finish, but is wait-plan-plan.
I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the
Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized, and if I ever get around to it.
©
2007 by SLaF, Cricket Hill, The Digital Darkroom
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
A good-natured Wizard worked in a automotive
factory. Everything was
satisfactory except that certain co-workers, taking advantage of his good-nature,
would use his parking space. This continued until the Wizard put up the
following sign ~
I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily
injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies,
astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of
time given.
I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small,
is not exactly zero.
If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word,
when I get around to it.
I obey the law of inverse excuses, which demands that the greater the task to be done,
the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater
task.
I know that the work-cycle is not plan-start-finish, but is wait-plan-plan.
I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the
Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized, and if I ever get around to it.
Misery Bay Flora , Manitoulin
Island
Original Digital Photograph, All Rights Reserved
satisfactory except that certain co-workers, taking advantage of his good-nature,
would use his parking space. This continued until the Wizard put up the
following sign ~
Our Graffiti Wall
# 2
Manitoulin Island-Radio.Net
PO Box 79
Sheguiandah, Ontario P0P 1W0
Canada
mail@manitoulinisland-radio.net
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Not a Playground !!
Date Page Created: September 9, 2006
Page Name: fanciful3.html
The once held Promise of Television is Appropriately Dead
under the weight of Programming Trash! ~ Heidi Raye Vaughan
Television Watching first Softens and then Shrinks the Human Brain!
~ The New England Journal of Existential Neurology {1963}